Slow it down, Slow it down, Your moving too fast you see
Sooo my backpack arrived the other day and I could not be happier! This backpack was made for a woman’s body. Doing your research is well worth the wait to find the right pack. I’m such a nerd, I just walk around my house with it on doing regular things but continually pass by a mirror several times to look at it hahah. I’m just really excited! This pack is the start of something big in my life. Things are changing so rapidly, I feel like I don’t have time to think, only to act. But I guess I’ve had enough time to over think things in my life, that now I’m finally able to do and it feels damn good. It’s amazing that a backpack can bring this much happiness. This pack is the physical manifestation of my aspirations. This pack is helping me close a chapter in my life and assisting me in writing a new one. Though closing this chapter seems to be taking some time, seeing my backpack gives me so much to look forward to.
I thought I would be leaving at the end of this month, but have a had a change of plans. The plan is to have no real plan. I just have ideas of where I want to go and things I want to do, but for now I have to be here. When the pressure of thinking you have to go somewhere by a certain time goes away because you realize there’s no rush, you know your making a good decision. I put a lot of unnecessary weight on myself thinking I needed to throw myself out into the world by a specific date. I do this to myself sometimes! But right now, I’m ok with being here and making plans for the future, because at the moment I don’t really have a choice.
I’ve been in and out of several doctor’s offices trying to figure out what is going on inside my body. All year it’s been trying to tell me something, I just don’t know what and neither does anyone else! I think I have celiac disease or food allergies but I’m not sure. I just got a bunch of blood work done and an endoscopy yesterday (where they put a camera in your stomach), and have to get an ultrasound on my belly on Monday. Hopefully I will get some kind of answers. *fingers crossed*I won’t have my results for another week or so, but at least I’ll be able to cancel things out if they don’t find anything there and move on to the next thing. I’m beyond exhausted dealing with this considering we spend a good portion of our lives eating and it’s a necessity to live and not to mention, doctor’s visits are expensive! I’ve eliminated a lot of food from my diet and feel much better, but after a year of experimenting, it would be nice to know exactly what the cause of these problems are, that way I can avoid it or take whatever steps are needed to fix it. Getting these tests done are a huge step in solving this mystery and very much-needed if I want to be bouncing around the globe. In the meantime I have to wait patiently. I will say I am learning a lot about myself and how to focus on me.
